Few hours later…..
Someone tapping me, “Tolulope, Tolu wake up, Tolu wake up”
Me: Obinna leave me alone, leave me alone (still sleeping)
Then a hot spank on my cheek.
Me: Yey! Who is that?
Bidemi: Are you alright? (
Me: What was that for? Why did you slap me now?
Bidemi: Cos you were saying rubbish, were ypou fight with Obinna in your dream? Hope you guys didn’t quarrel again this time
I got up….
Me: (hissed) That stupid ibo boy, i’m tired of the relationship, i swear
Bidemi: You and Obinna, what is it this time?
Me: Can you imagine, that fool gave me 8k out of 18k, the 18k i’ve been asking for over one month now.
Bidemi: Maybe he’s broke, you know he’s a corper now.
Me: And so? Atleast they have payed him is allawee now, can’t give me his allawee? He’s too stingy
Bidemi: (Laughing) wait, is that why you’re so angry like this?
Me: Why won’t i be? Hahaha, 3 rounds now, all night.
Me: 3 rounds, he was demanding for 4th sef
Bidemi: Ehn! You mean you had 3 rounds of s*x all night?
Me: Yes now, can you imagine, i purposely gave him that kind of s*x thinking he was going to give the full money.
Bidemi: Awwww! Sorry dear ( she hugged me)….. Mehn! 3 rounds (counting her fingers ), oh girl you try ooo
Me: See. Me i am tired of dating Nigerian guys, i’m fed up
Bidemi: Who else do you want to date if them?
Me: White men of course, can’t you Cynthia…. She’s dating a white man now, she’s a big girl now. Look what she carrying, she’s enjoying, she’s really enjoying ooo.
Bidemi: White men? You’re really funny….
Me: Do you think I’m joking, I’m even serious, i need white men, enough with naija guys.
Bidemi: So how do you intend to do that? Will you now go and meet Cynthia to hook you up or what?
Me: Huh! Me? God forbid, she will now be feeling like a superstar, abegi…… But seriously, shey Cynthia fine reach me ni? I don’t know which kind luck i dey get… Cynthia? That ugly girl
Me: Is it funny?
Bidemi: You dey envy the girl now
Me: Why won’t envy her, that girl dey use juju, Edo girls, Auchi girls (clapped my hands) no be Auchi girls snatch my father from my mum.. She dey use juju, cos the girl no fine at all
My phone rings, it was Obinna calling, i picked the phone and put it on silent.
Bidemi: Why are you not picking your call?
Me: Is that fool
Me: I hate that name…. Haa, God where will i get money to buy this gown for the award night them nominate me? I’m collecting an award now, what will wear?
Bidemi: Shey the award you paid for?
Bidemi: Which award do they want to give you sef?…… Is not face of SMS?
Me: Of course, i be fine girl now ( stood up, doing the 360 turning)….. I don suffer, 3 rounds, and if you see Obinna’s Joystick, very big.
Bidemi: is that not what you like? Fine boys with big things
Me: I need to hustle for white men oo
Bidemi: Hustle? You’re now sounding desperate
Me: Badoo things, i will go to Badoo, them plenty for Badoo.
Bidemi: How you take know say na Badoo?
Me: See you, i checked Cynthia’s chats yesterday now, i went through her phone.
My phone rings again…..
Me: Oh my God, what does this stupid boy want? Medicine after death..
I eventually picked up the phone…..
Me: Hello, what do you want? Don’t call me again….. What?
Still on the phone arguing with him till i went outside….