It is time to end it all,I can no longer bear the pains,torture,heart break and fear. God! Why do you have to send me to this cruel world when you know you can’t take care of me? I thought you are kind to all? I thought you fight for the helpless? I thought you are the father of the orphans? Why do you hate me so much? No! There is no God! There is no such thing as heaven or hell! Its all false! I hate you for creating me. You have refused to take my life as well,is that how much i have offended you?
Morounkeji wept bitterly as she reminisced over her 16 years on earth,she was her parents jewel,she was loved and pampered by all,not after her parents were barren for 7 years before having her.. What a pretty and sharp child she was.. She could remember holding her father’s brief case and refusing to let him go to work,her mother had been the one to pet her and assure her “daddy will soon be back sweetie,he will get you chocolates”.. She was just age 3..
She smiled at the thought of her wonderful parents,hot tears trickling down her once robust soft cheeks.
If only wishes were horses,beggars would ride. As if fate was jeaous of the happiness in her family,it took away the joy and made their laughter a once upon a time. Her mother left to the land of no return,she was five years old,eager to have a sibling. Morounkeji sat on her father’s laps,sorrounded by family members in the waiting room of Mc Donald’s hospital,they were all silent,waiting to hear the cry of a baby and congratulatory message from the doctor..but the author had a different plan.
Yes! She remembered it all,Doctor Charles was his name,he came out of the ward,with his expressionless face,he came to them,even though they were all standing and looking at him like their lives would end if the blinked. She was small,but she understood the tension they were all going through. How wouldn’t she understand? Her father had hurriedly dropped her on the ground and rushed to meet the doctor. They had all forgotten she was there. Doctor Charles dropped the bombshell and she saw her father falling to the ground unconcious. She vowed never to forgive Doctor Charles for causing her family pains..but now she understands better,it was not his fault.. God caused it all….
His words became a nightmare to her,she remembered his very words,it had become a memory verse to her,thinking about his harsh words made her cry the more. It felt like blood on her shoulders. Why are doctors so heartless? He didn’t even mince his words,all he did as he stepped out of the ward and come to them was wipe his face,pocket his hands and spat out the heart wrecking words.. “i am very sorry Mr Johnson,we lost her….and the baby”
The tears had dried up and left its marks on Morounkeji’s cheeks, her tear bag had been used up,eyes swollen and red,she looked into space as she remembered what followed……
The news sent shivers into her spine,she watched her maternal grandma clung unto the doctor’s coat wailing..she saw her uncles and aunts crying..and her father? He was on the floor already. The nurses rushed to him and helped him into a ward..but she was there,she saw it all,she never moved her feet,she had watched similar scenes in movies with her parents,it all felt like a terrible dream..too bad she was never going to wake up from it.
How cruel life is,her once lively father had become a shadow of himself,after the traumatic event at the hospital,Morounkeji had stayed alone with her father,he took care of her. She so much loved him and pitied him,he had promised never to remarry,he was ready to sacrifice all for his wonderful damsel.
Mr Johnson loved his departed wife so much..and cried at the thought of her. He couldn’t bring himself to love another. Morounkeji was the only thing he had left and he was ready to give her his all.. But all this was about to change….